Anything Is Possible
Preface: As always I never condone the use of illegal substances. I encourage you to do plenty of research before embarking on any type of treatment for ailments. In regards to the use of medicinal psychedelics, I believe that set, setting and intention are highly important. Please do your research and don't expect any medicine (whether natural or synthetic to magically "cure" you). Always seek advice from an experienced provider whether it be a medical doctor, shaman, etc.
Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the story of the tattoo!
I always said I would NEVER get a tattoo! I think one of the biggest things I've learned throughout my transformation is "Never Say Never!" I also said I would never do a couples costume on Halloween...and well, just a few weeks ago Eric and I were Wendy Peffercorn and Squints from Sandlot! Haha. I've started to swallow my pride and let go of the things I said I would NEVER do, and just do what makes me happy, regardless of what that looks like to anyone else.
The reason I thought I would never get a tattoo, is because I didn't think there was anything that would mean that much to me that I would feel the need to display it permanently. But then, the journey of the last few years happened, and I wanted to remind myself of the adversity I had overcome, and the strength I had acquired, every day.
I knew that if and when I got a tattoo it would say "Anything Is Possible." Rewind to August 10th, 2014, in the midst of my lowest lows, I got a glimmer of hope. I always knew I would never quit in my efforts to overcome my hell, but I was scared deep down inside that I would die still trying. After doing extensive research, I found that in the right setting, MDMA has proven to be extremely successful with curing anxiety and PTSD. (See a few links below). I took it and for the first time in a LONG time I felt happy. Genuinely happy. I felt as though some of the shackles of my anxiety and depression had loosened up. It was after that experience I felt HOPE. For the first time I felt like that there WOULD be a light at the end of the tunnel and that I would find it. I didn't know how, but I knew it was possible. I had just taken a beginner's calligraphy workshop the weekend before, and in the midst of my MDMA session I was practicing calligraphy and I wrote in huge letters, "Anything Is Possible, August 10, 2014." I hung it on our fridge and it became my motto. I still had debilitating anxiety. I still felt too sick and anxious to eat very often. I was still depressed, and I still hated myself. But now, I had hope. One time using it was all I needed. My intention was to learn something, not to use it as a crutch to hide my symptoms. I learned what I needed to learn, and that was that. There was no need for continued use for me. I learned that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, and that even though I was living in darkness, it was possible for me to to find the light...I just had to find the way. This post isn't meant to go in depth about how MDMA can be used medicinally, so I encourage you to have an open mind and do further research. Even though MDMA does act as a reuptake inhibitor, it is NOT meant to be taken daily like popular pharmaceuticals such as Prozac or Cymbalta. MDMA is NOT meant to manage symptoms, but rather heal the CAUSE of the symptoms.
Around that time I had started researching iboga, and I was fortunate enough to experience the medicinal benefits and insights that it has to offer. Since returning home, I have continued to learn and grow every day. I've been pursuing energy healing, studying reiki, and have not stopped reading.
Around May I decided that I wanted a tattoo to symbolize and remind me of the journey I went through. A symbol to remind me of the struggles and the adversity, as well as the strength and wisdom I have gained. A reminder of everything that I have overcome. A reminder of the path I've been down, and the path that I am on now. And most of all, a reminder of how bad ass I am, and that I can overcome ANYTHING. Finally in September I pulled the trigger. A dear friend I work with in wedding planning, Calligraphy Katrina, wrote it out for me, and my new friend, Alex Magana made it permanent.
Always remember that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Seriously though...ANYTHING.
Here are a few links to some research to get you started.